just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
