The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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