Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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