I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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