Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think people are normalizing furries
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
