he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
