i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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