i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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