Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
