Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
