People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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