So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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