god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
