I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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