Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How external is "for external use only"?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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