This is not my ceiling
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
