Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The air taste purple.
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