What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
