I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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