the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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