You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
