I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
