bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
