Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
do herpes really smell.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
