Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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