Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
