Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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