Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
