I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
