I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
