he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
