they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
