Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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