Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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