Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
