i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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