Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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(937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845

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(252): View more from North Carolina

i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.

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(252): i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too. http://tfl.nu/myt5

Replies (55) Good night (6184) Bad night (926)
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(530): View more from California

dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often

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(530): dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often http://tfl.nu/lo0b

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(816): View more from Missouri

votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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(816): votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads http://tfl.nu/utdd

Replies (8) Good night (1028) Bad night (2089)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.

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(+44): Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out. http://tfl.nu/bww1

Replies (11) Good night (5861) Bad night (1089)
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(734): View more from Michigan

He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.

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(734): He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge. http://tfl.nu/yr6w

Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (1667)
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(520): View more from Arizona

I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.

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(520): I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me. http://tfl.nu/h8vm

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(479): View more from Arkansas

The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?

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(479): The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in? http://tfl.nu/vsmz

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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(+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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(778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e

Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (331)
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(239): View more from Florida

The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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(239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4

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(662): View more from Mississippi

His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

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(662): His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/j499

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(732): View more from New Jersey

didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.

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(732): didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull. http://tfl.nu/3dne

Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (692)
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(317): View more from Indiana

If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.

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(317): If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy. http://tfl.nu/4eke

Replies (8) Good night (950) Bad night (583)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.

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(203): I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch. http://tfl.nu/vpl3

Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (161)

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