Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(660): View more from Missouri

i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals

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(630): View more from Illinois

week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(416): View more from Toronto

I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit

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(979): View more from Texas

Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.

(512): View more from Texas

That would explain all the random shit in my room...

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(702): View more from Nevada

The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night

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