I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have tasted many bathrooms