Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Can we have unprotected sex soon?

(270): View more from Kentucky

Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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(270): Can we have unprotected sex soon? (270): Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner http://tfl.nu/5s3c

Replies (5) Good night (1599) Bad night (600)
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(503): View more from Oregon

this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

(541): View more from Oregon

dude.

(503): View more from Oregon

yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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(503): this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor" (541): dude. (503): yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating. http://tfl.nu/t5uc

Replies (21) Good night (780) Bad night (3792)
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(904): View more from Florida

I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.

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(904): I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here. http://tfl.nu/eefr

Replies (30) Good night (8044) Bad night (692)
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(631): View more from New York

so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.

(631): View more from New York

what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

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(631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night. (631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK http://tfl.nu/1v47

Replies (34) Good night (7163) Bad night (1275)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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(443): i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007 http://tfl.nu/tyl3

Replies (19) Good night (6578) Bad night (1497)
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(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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(417): She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit. http://tfl.nu/3bxb

Replies (21) Good night (3759) Bad night (1280)
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(352): View more from Florida

One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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(352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor

Replies (8) Good night (2570) Bad night (734)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE

(1-847): View more from Illinois

This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.

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(847): I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE (1-847): This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to. http://tfl.nu/xeyh

Replies (15) Good night (4348) Bad night (816)
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(949): View more from California

I have no words

(951): View more from California

Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.

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(949): I have no words (951): Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water. http://tfl.nu/wxcd

Replies (19) Good night (1019) Bad night (2320)
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(707): View more from California

you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

(1-707): View more from California

yeah, you wanna come?

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(707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p

Replies (9) Good night (1651) Bad night (570)
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(812): View more from Indiana

But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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(812): But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis http://tfl.nu/afbo

Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (229)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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(910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a

Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (218)
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(971): View more from Oregon

HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY

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(971): HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY http://tfl.nu/i8rb

Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (447)
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(360): View more from Washington

I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.

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(360): I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town. http://tfl.nu/phek

Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (275)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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(978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52

Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (189)

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