Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf? http://tfl.nu/9o9r
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale. http://tfl.nu/iff3
  Replies (26) Good night (598) Bad night (3631)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car. http://tfl.nu/glcf
  Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (3194)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight http://tfl.nu/f9xl
  Replies (29) Good night (666) Bad night (7578)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831
  Replies (56) Good night (1555) Bad night (6057)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time http://tfl.nu/x6gg
  Replies (21) Good night (1127) Bad night (5490)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e
  Replies (7) Good night (3146) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again. http://tfl.nu/hakk
  Replies (3) Good night (1614) Bad night (2368)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call. http://tfl.nu/huax
  Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (2149)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man. http://tfl.nu/8n1a
  Replies (3) Good night (1450) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure http://tfl.nu/1m9t
  Replies (23) Good night (3719) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl
  Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns http://tfl.nu/45lv
  Replies (10) Good night (1609) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯ http://tfl.nu/ljn4
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (268)

Randomize