Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class