Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9
  Replies (45) Good night (4210) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3519) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward http://tfl.nu/7d4o
  Replies (9) Good night (3554) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz
  Replies (34) Good night (8092) Bad night (1936)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold

  (1-585): View more from New York

  hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold (1-585): hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce? http://tfl.nu/cepl
  Replies (4) Good night (3111) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day http://tfl.nu/8r8f
  Replies (8) Good night (2259) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  "Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): "Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices. http://tfl.nu/nbbz
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
  Replies (1) Good night (750) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young. http://tfl.nu/8x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents. http://tfl.nu/997k
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed. http://tfl.nu/wfli
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee http://tfl.nu/6d2k
  Replies (0) Good night (228) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater. http://tfl.nu/uty6
  Replies (4) Good night (207) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us http://tfl.nu/4d1i
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (183)

Randomize