giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.