So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?