dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
