so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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