i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she told me i tasted like america
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
