Sry I called you an 8
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sober January is a disaster.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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