I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
