McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What drink are we having for lunch?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
sex in a hospital.. check
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
