so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Someone came in the potted fern
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
