Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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