I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
