my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.