i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
