it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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