You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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