you turned your livingroom into a bong?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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