2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
