I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
