I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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