I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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