I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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