physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
