I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
