so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
