so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
there was a trapeze. enough said
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
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I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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