I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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