the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
