You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
