She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
